Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

Our 2-year-old daughter, “Daisy,” started a new daycare program over the summer. Her lead teacher ran an in-home daycare for 20 years before moving to this center, and she has what we consider to be an old-school approach. She places what we feel are unrealistic expectations on toddlers.

Our daughter is very verbal and can clearly express what she needs and wants and how she feels. She’s also incredibly sweet and easily picks up on others’ emotions. A few kids in her class aren’t yet really verbal, and her teacher tells us that because Daisy is verbal, she should only be using her words and never taking toys or hitting other children. While we to

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