NEED TO KNOW

Marine Corps mom Sharon McLeese heard repeatedly about "ultimate sacrifice" while attending son Justin’s 2004 graduation from boot camp. Within months, he would be killed in the second battle of Fallujah and she had to learn to keep his memory alive

At first she wanted to die. But, she says, “I thought, ‘How awful would it be for me to take myself out?’ Oh boy, Justin would have been furious. So we hung in, and here I am, 20 years later”

She says she always shows up at Memorial Day and other veterans events: “I’ve learned through the years that if you’re not ready to stand up there, they’re not going to say their names”

Editor’s note: For Veterans Day, PEOPLE is publishing a series of stories looking back at the service members and families affected by the two battles of F

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