Dear Abby: Dad’s idea of parenting forces a constant competition for his approval on our sons

DEAR ABBY: My ex, “Hank,” and I have two sons together. Both are smart, kind, college-educated, hardworking and independent young adults.

Hank is estranged from our younger son, “Andrew.” Andrew could never live up to his father’s expectations. This is one of the reasons I fell out of love with my husband. He would initiate a verbal confrontation with Andrew and say things like, “You are not my son.” Later, he’d clarify that he meant Andrew doesn’t ACT like his older brother does. Another example: “You didn’t call me last week, so I’m not going to help you out today.”

It has been painful to watch as a mom, and for a child to experience. The one blessing is that both boys love each other. I believe children should know they are loved by their parents. They should NOT have to continually p