WINNIPEG, MB

After a near record-setting cold snap, the entire province of Manitoba has decided to pack their bags and move in with the Doerksens of Abbotsford.

“The Trans-Canada Highway going west is jam-packed,” said a government official. “I recommend that migrants take the Yellowhead and then cut back down into the Lower Mainland once they cross the Rockies.”

The Doerksens have already received more than a hundred distant cousins on their doorstep.

“Supposedly this guy is my fourth-cousin twice removed,” said Mr. Doerksen. “But have you seen that man’s face? Does he look like a Doerksen to you?”

So far the Doerksens have managed to accommodate all the newcomers, but some have had to sleep in the shed and a couple are camping in the back yard.

“It seems they’re not fussy,” said Do

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