This is One Thing , a column with tips on how to live.

Whenever I attend or host a gathering, especially around the holidays, a familiar exchange occurs. The guest asks, “What can I bring?” and the host replies, “Just yourselves!” All the while we both know that, according to old-fashioned etiquette, there will be fussing on both sides around the “perfect” unimposing host gift. The reality is that as much as good hosts want their guests to be unencumbered, they care much more about everyone having a great time. To honor their request, I no longer worry over the perfect nice-but-not-too-cheap bottle of wine or box of chocolates that may end up regifted back to me, and instead bring the host some peace of mind, simply by taking a moment before the party to assemble a tastefully arran

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