How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a married father with a lovely family. I’ve always been the more sexual person in our relationship, and that gap has widened over time. Other than the first few months of our relationship and during pregnancy, she hasn’t shown much desire for sex. Meanwhile, my passion for her just continues to increase. She’s gorgeous and has an incredibly sexy body.

About two years ago, I started to really want a better sex life and tried to talk about it. She had complained of low libido as a mom with a stressful career, but also shared that she used to be much more sexual before we met. The thing is, she didn’t seem to want to do anything about it or even

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