In an effort to add some clarity to a topic that has baffled Mennonites for centuries, the Daily Bonnet has devised a handy ranking of the relative evilness of particular card games. In descending order, the most evil card games are:

10. Rook – The great thing about Rook cards is that you’re not using real playing cards, which, apparently, are really really bad. Instead of suits, you have colours, and that makes a world of a difference. Plus, you’re playing in teams. Mennonites like teams. Rating: not sinful at all.

9. Dutch Blitz – not sinful at all, unless someone gets hurt and you don’t apologize right away. Rating: not sinful, but has potential to be.

8. Uno – also not sinful at all, but we much prefer if you refer to the game by its Plautdietsch name . Rating: not sinful if

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