NEW HAVEN, CT - A Christian missionary was spotted wearing a surgical mask while bringing the gospel to unsaved Democrats in the New England area. The missionary, identified by authorities as Jonah Phillips, is a staunch anti-masker who sources say began wearing the mask so that Democrats would talk to him.

"When you wear the mask they see you as on their level. It's a very quick way to earn their trust," said Phillips. "Then you just let the Holy Spirit drop truth bombs on them and stand back."

Jonah Phillips reportedly takes inspiration from 1 Corinthians 9:22, which theologians speculate caused Paul to pick up Magic The Gathering in an attempt to win over ancient nerds.

"Maybe I can't be all things to all people - I'm not on the same level as Paul - but I can at least be a grown

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