YOU realise your partner’s dad is from a different generation with a different view of the world. But how the f**k did he come up with these impossible questions for you?

‘How much do you pay for petrol?’

You’re pretty certain it costs between £50 and £100 to fill up your car but a more precise answer is required. Your last visit to a petrol station strangely isn’t etched in your memory, so say something lamely humorous like ‘Ha, too much!’ Sharing a joke might stop him thinking you’re a feckless loser who’s brainwashed his beloved daughter into liking you. It probably won’t.

‘Where’s your stopcock?’

An obsession for ageing dads. You’re not totally sure of the location of yours, and you’re slightly disturbed by the fact that this is what he talks about for pleasure. Does he have any fr

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