SEATTLE, WA — The Microsoft Corporation announced today that they've developed a convenient new 47-factor authentication protocol for all Windows-enabled computers.

A spokesperson for Microsoft said that the new unnecessarily complicated measure serves as the company's latest response to the ever-increasing need for digital security.

"Two factors just weren't secure enough," said Wayne Parkington, director of media relations at Microsoft. "So we went back to the drawing board to design a simple, easy-to-use, 47-factor security protocol that anyone can remember."

Starting today, users will need to enter their usernames and passwords to log in, followed by an authentication code sent to their phones. "After that," Parkinson said, "they'll just need to type in their email addresses, last 4

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