WASHINGTON, D.C. - In his address to the nation yesterday, President Joe Biden said if everyone is very good this year, he'll allow Americans to have some limited freedoms on July 4.

"If you are all good boys and girls, we can have a few freedoms back on the fourth of July," he said. "It'll be a nice treat for doing such a good job listening. Who's a good boy? You are, Americans!"

Some of the freedoms Biden says Americans will be granted will include the following:

Gathering in small groups of 1-3

Enjoying barbecued food as long as it's covered in hand sanitizer

Shouting "Freedom!" as long as you shout quieter than you speak and everyone is wearing masks

Launching government-approved fireworks that don't spread too much celebration and freedom

Waving flags as long as they aren't the

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