DEAR ABBY: I’m 19. My father’s mother has never been a grandmother figure in my life. No healthy relationship was ever formed. My dad says it was her fault, but she has implied that the fault lies with my mother. Dad’s mother accepts close to zero responsibility for the situation.

I recently, by accident, referred to her by her first name, and my aunt (Dad’s sister) thought it was disrespectful. How can I politely make her understand that I wasn’t being disrespectful because there is NO RELATIONSHIP? I don’t think anyone sees this from my point of view. There’s an overwhelming consensus that I need to forgive and forget because she is technically my grandmother. I don’t share this feeling. Any thoughts? -- TECHNICALLY THE GRANDDAUGHTER

DEAR GRANDDAUGHTER: You do not have to forgive and f

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