This Holiday Season, Try Arguing With Your Family

Key points

Staying silent to keep the peace can lead to disappointment and disconnection.

Speaking up can ultimately strengthen connections, despite short-term discomfort.

The goal is to communicate, not to agree or convince each other. Disagreement is OK.

For many families, the holiday season means togetherness. And togetherness sometimes means conflict. It’s no surprise that articles like "Family, Food, and Friction: A Holiday Reality Check" and "Ten Ways to Keep Your Family Members from Ruining Your Holidays" are just as much holiday staples as decorated tables and festive lights.

A common coping mechanism is conflict avoidance: keeping quiet to avoid clashes in beliefs and values, or to escape the judgment and disapproval of family members. Don’t use your gender -nonconforming p