TALLAHASSEE, FL — Soft whimpers were heard late last night at the Governor's Mansion, as aides reported Ron DeSantis whispering in between sobs over insults lobbed his way by former President Donald Trump.

"Trump's WRONG," DeSantis was overheard saying to himself as he sniffled. "I'm not sanctimonious and I don't look like a meatball! He's...he's...just a big stinky jerk."

Trump has ramped up his attacks on DeSantis in the wake of the Florida Governor's official announcement that he was entering the race to win the Republican nomination for President in 2024. "The state of Florida has gone downhill drastically since Rob DeSanctimonious has been governor," Trump posted to his Truth Social account. "I helped him out bigly by endorsing him, basically handing him the victory, and this is

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