Igot this interesting question recently, and it made me think. And when things make me think, you know I have to write about them!

Q: How do I balance ‘You deserve zero red flags’ with the reality that no one is perfect? Thank you!

A: Those are VERY different things. A red flag, by my definition, is objective: Someone is rude to people. Someone doesn’t do what they say they’ll do. Someone bashes an ex early and unprompted. Someone is dishonest. Someone belittles you. Someone manipulates you or others to get what they want. And the list goes on…

But quirks, as we all have, should be looked at subjectively. Everyone has what I call “perceived flaws.” They are not objective. (Some -- OK, many -- might call them “icks.”) They are things that you might not like but that are not inherently ba

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