IOWA CITY, Iowa — Suburban father Tyler Rainey expressed frustration over children’s lack of media literacy, despite firmly believing country singer Garth Brooks and his fictional persona Chris Gaines are different people, confirmed sources.

“The fact that these kids believe the lamestream news media or that the earth is round is alarming,” said Rainey without breaking eye contact from Fox News on his television. “This is just like back in the day when that Chris Gaines guy showed up and tried to steal the thunder from Garth Brooks, the greatest country-music-rock-n-roll crossover musician to ever live. This Gaines guy was just riding the coattails of his own series of unlikely, horrific personal tragedies to try and get famous. Now if you’ll excuse me. The DMV just texted asking for my S

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