Local Dad Matt Fredricksen was recently busted for eating all the Uncrustables at his daughter Kayla’s 5th birthday. Naturally, Matt’s antics have left the people divided — did he finally hit rock bottom? Or is this peak performance? Let’s investigate.

One thing’s for sure, Matt worked up a crazy appetite whilst on “balloon duty” (literally his only job during party prep). And let’s be honest, blowing up an overly-expensive “happy birthday” balloon banner from Target would make any 45-year-old man ravenous. Especially if you’re Matt. Which means you try to rawdog the balloons (no instructions, no pump), only to accidentally pop the “R” and the “Y.” So naturally, you crash out and destroy the whole goddamn banner while your father-in-law insults your disorganized garage (which equates to,

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