FIFTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, goes to see Oasis and suffers the torture of being there with his father, innit.

WAGWAN? Fam, man’s daddem is usually bein’ a boring bankbot at him’s work, but dis week mumdem sez him’s going to take Joshua an’ Lady G to a gig. You wot?

So on da day, man woz dressed to himpress, all black ‘Ugo Boss cap, top an’ shorts, complimented wiv mint-condition, black Airmax 95’s, henveloped in a boxfresh Cole Buxton puffer. Active J woz hyper-peng, gangsta dripped, an’ barely legal. Man cud eat manself.

Den daddem comes downstairs wearin’ cargo shorts! Man never sees daddem wivout a businessbot suit on, never mind flashin’ him’s bare legs! Turbo-rank, fam. Ew!

But wait! Him also ‘ad a Hadidas bucket hat an’ Hadidas white par

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