AUSTIN, TX - To the relief of Texans across the state, Governor Greg Abbott has signed a law prohibiting escaping Californians from voting after they move to Texas. Experts say this will prevent the happy and prosperous slice of heaven from sliding into the endless despair and crushing poverty of leftist policy.

"Yeah, all you weirdo Californians are welcome to partake with us in this blessed land," said Chuck Dillon, a local accountant who dresses like a cowboy. "Bring your music and your little girly men and your avocado toast, but please leave your godless heathen communism in California where it belongs!"

According to sources, emergency legislation was drafted after it was discovered that 97% of Californians favor destroying every small business on the planet and salting the earth wh

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