ROCHESTER, MN — Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have discovered a miracle cure for hangovers they're calling "Just Don't Drink A Gallon Of Alcohol, You Drunkard."

"For hundreds if not thousands of years humans have been plagued by the ravages of nasty hangovers," Doctor Ralph Thompson told reporters. "After decades of intense research, we are proud to announce that our scientists have finally discovered a miraculous, breakthrough treatment that is literally one hundred percent effective at curing hangovers."

Thompson said his team found a direct link between waking up feeling like the underside of a boot and drinking way too much booze the night before. "We ran extensive clinical trials, and found a shockingly strong correlation between drinking like a monster and feeling hungover the nex

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