SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local crustie Hank “Spew” Collins was shocked and appalled to discover the cocaine he’d been snorting all night and well into the next afternoon wasn’t laced with a single additive, reports confirmed.

“I got ripped off,” said Collins. “To think I panhandled and stole money to afford drugs, only to discover they weren’t cut with meth or even a common household cleaner, is honestly embarrassing. I knew something was off when I didn’t feel the intense urge to cover my windows with newspapers or accuse my friends of plotting to murder me. You have to be really careful about who you get your drugs from these days.”

Unlaced narcotics are causing noticeable apprehension in some drug-addled communities, but users maintain the trick to finding good drugs is to get them from s

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