Dear Abby: I was diagnosed with colon cancer five years ago. After two surgeries and three hospital stays, I recovered. The experience made me realize at 62 that it was time to downsize. I moved my husband and myself into a smaller, one-story home in a lovely retirement community.

I have now been diagnosed with incurable metastatic cancer. I'm being treated to prolong my life. The treatment is hard and is taking its toll. I am having a hard time preparing my husband for when I'm gone. I think I've taken the necessary steps. I want him to be prepared, but he doesn't seem to want to prepare. We have been married for 45 years. I have briefed our daughter on where the important paperwork and legal documents are, but I want him to take the lead. How can I get him to participate?

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