GREENVILLE, SC — After years of warning that the witchcraft in Harry Potter is an existential danger to the youth, fundamentalist Christians are delighted to hear that liberals are now warning that the Harry Potter books represent an existential danger to the youth and should be burned.

"We are grateful our liberal friends have condemned this wickedness – on Saturday at Central Park, we will be holding a joint book-burning ceremony together of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books." Current President of Bob Jones University Steve Pettit announced the event through a press release on the school's website, including a picture of himself posing in a frozen-handshake position with a face-tattooed person of ambiguous gender, who was also giving the "thumbs-down" sign in the picture.

While t

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