JEFFERSON CITY, MO — A celebration broke out in Missouri's capital today after word came in that the state had successfully placed every single freeway, road, and bridge under construction all at the same time.

"It's an amazing feat," said one state legislator. "And right in time for the July 4th holiday, too! This really puts us in the record books and makes our citizens' lives harder than ever before. It's great to be a small part of such an impressive achievement."

State leaders had been strategizing with local county and city governments for months to put the plan together. As construction began on the last street in the state that had remained open to traffic, members of the state legislature and the Missouri Department of Transportation held a groundbreaking ceremony. "We stand her

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