When she met Andy—an aid worker like herself—he’d suffered an unimaginable loss. Falling in love, Jessica Alexander would discover, doesn’t mean letting go of the past.

For some couples, choosing names for a newborn can be challenging—nine months of negotiation and lists upon lists of combinations. Our twin boys were a week old by the time my husband, Andy, and I finally made up our minds. It wasn’t because we hadn’t prepared; it was that Andy had a change of heart about their middle names once they arrived. “Those names belong to their brothers,” he said as our sons slept silently side by side. “And I never want these boys to think I want them to be anyone other than who they are.”

I was introduced to Andy through Facebook. Not in the way that you’d expect; he’s not even on Facebook. It

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