QATAR — The United States' soccer match against England ended in a tie, handing the U.S. team victory as the country which last beat the other in a war wins the tiebreaker.

"We don't decide the rules, we just win the wars," said U.S. coach Gregg Berhalter in the post-match press conference. "Last I checked, we drive on the right side of the road and call cookies by their God-given name. Chalk one up for Team U.S.A."

The highly anticipated match saw a supposedly dominant world power in England get shown up by a bunch of American football players who only took up soccer to stay in shape during the offseason. "Soccer is probably my seventh best sport, right after ping-pong," said America's star midfielder Cristian Pulisic. "It's pretty sad to see these English guys devote their whole lives

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