Enmeshed Families: When Control Is Disguised as Closeness

Key points

Enmeshment can blur emotional boundaries.

Parental dependence on children for support can fuel enmeshment.

Setting boundaries and embracing independence can help people overcome enmeshment.

Most people value close, supportive family relationships. We want to feel loved, understood, and connected. But when families become too tightly connected—or enmeshed—that closeness can interfere with our ability to develop our own identity , make independent choices, and pursue our goals .

What Is Enmeshment?

Enmeshment is often confused with closeness or intimacy, both of which are aspects of healthy relationships. Enmeshment is a dysfunctional dynamic that occurs when relationships lack boundaries and there isn’t enough emotional separation among family members.

In healthy fam