Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My husband died suddenly at age 71. We were married almost 40 years. He was retired and had a pension and social security, both of which went away when he died. Because of my own chronic health conditions, most of our financial planning imagined that I would die first and he would be financially secure. Man plans, God laughs. I am financially stable but must keep working to maintain my household.

My husband has two living brothers. One is financially unstable with his own health issues. Throughout our marriage, we were able to throw some significant sums and the occasional emergency money his way. I continue to do that.

The other brother seems fine

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