DEAR MISS MANNERS: In a historical novel I was reading, a young woman was widowed, and she was bemoaning that she would have to wear only pearls -- no diamonds. Was that really a thing at one time?

GENTLE READER: Yes. Mourning, which would last at least two years for a widow, proscribed any jewelry except pearls and black onyx, with the only gold permitted being the wedding ring. Everything was supposed to be matte, so even clothing made of shiny material was not supposed to be worn.

Ridiculous, you say?

Well, ridiculously exaggerated. Perhaps only in novels were ladies condemned to dowdiness in tribute to someone of whom they may have been only too delighted to be free.

Now, expressing mourning though appearance has pretty much been dropped. Many people do not even wear black to fun

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