SAN DIEGO, CA - If you thought the Israelites had it bad walking around the desert in circles for decades, get a load of this guy: Jake Halpert visited Shady Hills Community Church in the autumn of 1977, and only just found the sanctuary this past Sunday.

Halpert parked his Firebird Formula in the church's five-story parking garage and immediately walked the wrong direction, mistaking the church's gym and athletic facilities for the worship center, according to reports from the unkempt wanderer. He then somehow found his way around the back of the building to an entrance to the church's basement, the labyrinthine corridors of which he roamed for the remainder of Jimmy Carter's presidency.

"I kept getting turned around near the sauna," he told the church's greeter as he finally entered th

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