American Shoppers Flock to Get their Hands on World War III Apparel

OMAHA, NE

Malls were packed this weekend for the kickoff of summer. And you know what that means – deals on all the hottest World War III apparel.

“There’s camo everywhere,” said eager shopper Kathy Kroeker, 23. “We’re lining up outside American Eagle and Old Navy for all the trendiest fatigues and combat uniforms.”

There was so much excitement at the prospect of a major world conflict, that some stores had to make a few alterations just to keep up with the demand.

“Our khakis are already more or less ready for battle,” said local Gap manager Dave Unrau. “Plus, we’ve already got a wide array of tank tops.”

Also popular were Doc Martens boots, which shoppers are hoping will finally be used for their intended purpose.

“Ahhh, there’s nothing like a world war to boost the economy,” said