MINNEAPOLIS — The appearance of an unremarkable cloud in the sky enraged pedestrians in Uptown, prompting a police response in a part of the city known for its music venues, sources confirmed.

“I was in line for a Roadkill Sushi show outside the Apocalypse Room this morning, since the city is condemning it in the afternoon. I accidentally looked up at the sky—I usually try not to—and there it was: the shittiest cloud I’ve ever seen in my life. Just a fuckin’ prolapse of meteorology. It didn’t even try to look like an animal or nothing—not even the easy ones like a worm or a dino nugget. It was the only cloud in the sky, so anyone who wanted a cloud to look at had to look at this one. I was so mad, I punched a guy. He pulled a gun, but then I showed him the cloud, and he said he understood

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