By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist who Britain let down by not rioting this summer

WHY shouldn’t I? After all, nobody else is paying. But while the Albanians can walk out with armfuls of diamond bracelets, you guessed it – it’s different for Brits.

It was in Selfridges that the thought occurred, a store founded by the man who coined the immortal phrase ‘the customer is always right’. And on this occasion, the customer in question had a deliciously naughty idea.

When 98.2 per cent of goods in UK stores are taken gratis and our self-service checkouts largely used as urinals, what was stopping me joining in? When police help shoplifters carry their hauls home while tasing have-a-go heroes left and right?

There is only so much the British psyche, buil

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