STEINBACH, MB

Local city council candidate Mr. Harder decided to take a DNA test this week after being called a “Lutheran” by one of his political rivals. The rival, Mr. Dyck, said he would donate two garbage bags full of old denim to the local MCC store, if Mr. Harder took a DNA test.

“Oba, nay! I am 100% Mennonite,” said Mr. Harder, handing the reporter a tiny little plastic cup he had peed into earlier in the day. “Here, check out my DNA results.”

The results clearly show that Mr. Harder was 30% schmaunt fat, 21% Welch’s grape juice, 18% sausage drippings, 12% Roger’s Golden Syrup, 7% cheese curds, 7% pickle juice, and 5% Papsi.

“If that’s not Mennonite I don’t know what is,” said Mr. Harder. “I think Mr. Dick should take a test himself and we’ll see just how Mennonite he is!”

Mr.

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