Miss Manners: Friend gets upset after realizing she has mispronounced my name for years

MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a last name that my family has pronounced a particular way through the generations, and that most English speakers, looking at the name, pronounce in a more phonetic way.

If somebody asks me how I pronounce it, I tell them, but if somebody goes ahead and pronounces it the phonetic way, I never correct them -- partly because it seems a little rude, but mainly because I don’t care.

An old friend, though, has learned that she’s been mispronouncing my name for several decades now. She told me I was rude not to correct her in the first place and spare her the embarrassment of “saying it wrong” all these years.

Should I preemptively correct people if I’m not bothered by what they’re saying?

GE