HARRISONBURG, VA

In a shocking turn of events in the seeming never-ending Epstein saga, the complete uncensored Epstein files were found in the “Something Special” display case at a local second hand shop.

“They wanted to get rid of it and get rid of fast, so I guess the White House had someone drive out to Harrisonburg and donate the whole thing,” said thrift store manager Mrs. Wengholder. “Each binder is going for 50 cents a piece. It’ll be a real boon to local charities … once it sells that is.”

Mrs. Wengholder says she hasn’t yet had a chance to look at the files, but says they were donated in a large black garbage bag that also contained several Mason jars full of pickles and some denim jeans that needed patching.

“I’m assuming all that other stuff was tossed in there so the donat

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