Key points

People-pleasers often view the tendency as a weakness and therefore reject, project, minimize, or deny it.

People-pleasing has prosocial aspects, which means it can't and shouldn't be eliminated.

The shame around people-pleasing is based on biased beliefs.

Humans have a strong tendency to overcorrect. Perfectionists , in particular, overcorrect by forcing themselves to become different versions of themselves, or fundamentally different people. Disdaining weakness in general, they often enter treatment to attempt to eliminate all of it. In my experience, one of the more glaring and repugnant weaknesses is people-pleasing, the tendency to go above and beyond to make others feel comfortable and/or happy. Perfectionists, who wish to conceive of themselves as hyper-independent,

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