YOU live in Notting Hill and have therefore won, but there’s an annual weekend where people come to your area, dance about and commit light crime. Here’s how to pretend you don’t mind:

Expect your neighbours to pop off for the weekend

The Saturday of the Bank Holiday weekend is marked by the sound of electric vehicles quietly departing for second homes and shopkeepers boarding up windows. Inhale the community spirit as they share nails, swig from hip flasks and make peace with whatever they lose in not selling Diptyque candles not making up for the shattered glass.

Dress up and eat

There’s a party celebrating black culture on your doorstep and you should dress accordingly, but not in such a way that you’ll get cancelled. Leave the Barbour and wellies in the hall. Yes, there will be jer

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