WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest executive order, President Donald Trump has ordered that anyone who does not bow down to the American flag when the music plays shall be tossed into the fiery furnace.
Sources say that the order comes as an attempt to deter burnings of American flags.
"It's a disgrace for anyone not to bow down to our flag when they hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer," Trump told reporters, gesturing toward a large American flag flying from the White House. "Some ungrateful losers have been burning our flag, which is the best flag of all time. So if you don't make a big, beautiful full-body prostration when the music starts, get ready to be tossed into this tremendously yuge fiery furnace. It's the hottest furnace anyone has ever se