HOBOKEN, NJ — A local man celebrated losing two pounds this week by instantly gaining back five, sources report.

"Hey! Look at that! All that hard work and dieting and…hey…wait a sec," John Baker observed. "Oh no. I lost two whole pounds but then — never mind."

Baker spent the better part of Wednesday celebrating the loss of the two pounds by eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream and a couple of burgers. Somehow, that little binge added five more pounds on the scale.

"Oh, there are 1,200 calories in a pint of that stuff. I guess that makes sense," Baker lamented. "I probably shouldn't have gone on a bender after checking the scale. I was down two glorious pounds but then BLAMO. Here come five more. Sure glad I cut out sugar and fried food for three weeks…"

As of publ

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