How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a 44-year-old cis, pansexual woman who’s married to a cis, hetero male partner, sans children. There are few things in life that I am confident about, but I’ve always felt a Mata Hari-esque femme allure when it comes to my sexuality.

I’m blessed to say my husband is, hands down, the best lover I’ve ever had and he knows exactly how to please me. However, I’ve always had to be careful with his 8-inch penis, as my vagina canal is quite short, but the last six months have been … different!

All of a sudden, my cervix is throwing caution to the wind and I can fit all 8 inches without any discomfort. In the past, I’ve experienced vaginal an

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