Some presidents would slack off their last months in office if they became lame ducks. It's a huge temptation — you've been giving 110 percent for the last three and a half years, so you want to take a break. Makes sense, right?

Not to Joe Biden! Fresh off his withdrawal from the presidential race, our fearless president shows no signs of slowing down before leaving office. We at the Babylon Bee have obtained exclusive access to his bucket list of things to do before leaving office — take a gander!

Finally figure out how to use that darn remote control for the TV in his office: It'll make watching Matlock much easier.

Eat an ice cream cone in every room of the White House: Why climb Everest? Because it's there.

Sniff all the female support staff goodbye: They'll feel touched.

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