Mom's Spoon Preferred to Dad's Belt, Survey Results Suggest

SALEM, OR

A new survey of Mennonite children and ex-children suggests a strong preference for mom’s spoon to dad’s belt during disciplinary sessions. The survey asked more than a thousand Mennonite children and two thousand adults, which method they preferred and the choice was overwhelming.

“Personally, I prefer to stand in the corner, but if I have to choose between the belt and spoon, I always go with the spoon,” said little Andrew. “To be quite honest, it kind of tickles…”

The spoon was deemed so ineffective to curb bad attitudes and disobedient spirits, that some Mennonite mothers began experimenting with force-feeding their children raw onions.

“You’ve got to do something to keep them in line,” said Mrs. Berg. “Lord knows my wooden spoon ain’t doing the trick.”

While the wooden