Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here .

Dear Prudence,

I love my niece, but she is 18 and afraid of her own shadow. She is academically brilliant, but way behind her peers when it comes to independence. Her parents basically smothered her socially and emotionally. She can’t drive, doesn’t date, and has never gone to hang out at a friend’s house (her parents want to monitor her at home).

Last year, we had a beach vacation on an island. I sent my niece to the grocery store down the lane for more ice. You get on and off a tram. It is a straight shot. My 10 and 12-year-old nephews learned it the first day. My niece took the wrong one and went in the opposite direction. Rather than just getting back on the tram, she had a panic attack and needed to be picked

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