Every time I talk about going anywhere — even the most milquetoast of locations — someone invariably asks me, “But is it safe?”

Hmmm. Let’s evaluate these safety risks from taking a trip.

Well, there are roads, so it’s always possible to get hit by a bus.

Lots of people seem to be around, so you could theoretically catch COVID-19 or some other dreaded disease just from walking down the street or pushing an elevator button.

Traffic is heavy, so some idiot who’s following too closely could rear-end you.

The tower of raw oysters you ate with your friends could be contaminated and give you food poisoning.

You could slip and fall in your hotel shower, because some freaking cretin thought it was a good idea to put slippery marble on the shower floor. (Marble, which only gets more slippe

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