How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 44-year-old man and I’ve been married to a 45-year-old woman for the past 15 years. About six years ago, she told me that she was basically done with sex. While we have had sex maybe 10 times or so since then, her statement has been essentially true. She was never particularly sexual anyway (she never communicated about likes/dislikes, fantasies, masturbation, etc.) and didn’t feel like physical intimacy was important to her.

While I do not feel the same way, I have been, and continue to be, willing to continue our marriage this way. But here is my question: Through recent avid reading of this column, I have learned quite a bit regard

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