DEAR ABBY: My daughter, “Violet,” lives about two hours away. She and her mother (my wife) do not get along. Violet was always a rebellious, independent wild child, as well as the source of a lot of family problems. Violet and I also were estranged until we recently reconciled.

Yesterday, she sent me an email inviting me to lunch to celebrate my birthday. When I told my wife about the invitation, she responded, “Do what you want” in a tone and with a facial expression which said: “Go ahead, but if you do, you’ll be sorry.”

I have tried to reconcile these two women I love without success. My wife tells me she loves Violet but doesn’t like her, although she would like to have a better relationship with her. Violet tells me she blames her mother for her PTSD (her unofficial diagnosis) and w

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