A woman, happily married for over 30 years, wrote to Annie Lane for guidance on how to handle the unsettling reappearance of a former fiancé from decades prior.

The letter writer, a 70-year-old health professional, ended her engagement many years ago after her then-fiancé began exhibiting controlling behavior, dictating what promotions she could accept and when dinner should be ready. Despite her being happily married for over three decades, the former fiancé, now 67 and a widower, has recently started appearing in public places she frequents.

He makes her “deeply uncomfortable” by staring, deliberately walking in front of her, and lingering nearby, prompting her to seek advice on how to make it clear she has no interest in reconnecting.

Annie firmly validated the woman’s feelings, st

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