WAKING up with a hangover that requires me to consume 42 gallons of water in five minutes to assuage it, I reflect on the week’s ecclesiastical events.

While no one is more alive to the need for ecumenical fellowship than myself, I do feel it is important, occasionally, to highlight the distinctions between the teachings of the Protestant and Catholic churches.

To this end, last Sunday, I dedicated my sermon to extolling the Church of England’s liberality on contraception. To emphasise this, I collected together boxes of condoms I keep about my chambers by way of precaution, and, at the climax, so to speak, of my sermon, distributed these to my congregation, flinging them with gusto and in great number from the pulpit into the pews.

Some of my more nervous staff warned that I might be d

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