ANGELA Rayner is gone, but who could possibly replace her? The race to be deputy prime minister begins now and these are the candidates:

Bridget Phillipson, education secretary

Main selling point is being proudly working class but not as working class as Angela Rayner, because she might be from a council house in Gateshead but she still went to Oxford. Has similar bob to Rachel Reeves; whether in affiliation or mockery is not yet known.

Dame Emily Thornberry, England flag-abhorrer

Continuity Corbyn candidate who will loom from the shadows to remind Starmer he promised to keep the full manifesto in 2019 and he has betrayed the Great Old One who will shortly rise from the sunken depths of his allotment and subjugate the world. Until then will like having a driver again.

Kemi Badenoch, C

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